Monday, June 12, 2006

Rush Hour Revelations

Watch for this in the God/Worship section of Relevant Magazine's online edition within the next month or so. :-)

***
It was rush hour. Cars. Merging. Radio. Noise. Heat. Haze. Lightning. Noise. Thoughts. Worries. Logic. Noise. It was too much. About 15 minutes into my drive, I turned off the radio, rolled up my windows and timidly said, “Okay, God. Where do I start?”

I felt so jumbled, out of my element, scattered. I realized I was trying to hide behind the noise, as if it could conceal my condition from the One who truly understood. I was feeling overwhelmed that day, wanting just to retreat back to familiarity. So many heartbreaking things were happening to my closest friends, and I wasn’t able to be there with them. Facing life in a large metropolitan area far from home was proving to be quite the challenge.

I imagine I felt much like Peter did when he stepped out of the boat onto the raging sea that stormy night. I couldn’t help but look at the waves all around me, and I was feeling them begin to wash over me. But my faith told me differently. I knew I could come to Him.

With tears in my eyes, I began sorting through the things on my heart and my mind. And as I talked with Him, I felt Him speaking back to me in that still, small voice that I had needed so desperately to hear. With all the noise and distraction around me, His voice was what I truly needed to continue on.

“I trust You,” I said to Him at one point. I paused, wondering how many times had I said that phrase in prayer. “That’s so much easier said than done, Lord.” I realized that this was where the rubber met the road. My challenge was to put those words into action. And again in His still, small voice, I felt Him say to me, “Yes, Rachel. But it’s so much stronger done than said.”

I was speechless. I find that He has a way of doing that to me in the midst of the most noise-filled moments of my life. I took a step back and looked at what my life had been between my last heart-to-heart with God up until that point in time. I realized how much worry, hurt and frustration had kept me from Him. I was amazed at how my human logic had even caused interference as I struggled with my finances. In my reflection, I also saw the times that I had come to Him in worship. He had embraced me and showed that I truly was at home…in the center of His will.

And in His powerful way of doing things, He showed me that He is mindful of me every single moment. No matter what path He has led me down, lonely or filled with loved ones, He has always given me peace. And in my most vulnerable times, the truest worship has flowed from me when I quiet myself and sit down at His feet. All He has asked of me is to simply take that step toward Him, and then He meets me right where I am.

***

2 Comments:

Blogger Stephen said...

Congratulations!

10:57 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

That was awesome. Just found you via Chad. Keep writing.
Los

10:31 PM  

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